Michelle Segar's latest book, The Joy Choice, tries to answer the question - "What do you do in chaotic situations where it is very hard to apply habit strategies and skills?"
She doesn't mention it by name, but there's a slight dig at Atomic Habits (a current NYT bestseller for over 154 weeks). Those strategies are all well-and-good but what happens when kids aren't listening, the phone rings, social media pings, and you're frustrated at how behind you are on your day. What do you do when this is all happening at once?
Just like most meetings "could have been an email", this book walks the "could have been a blog post" tightrope. There's also a lot of acronyms. Ultimately, there is enough to savour, and Michelle's well-meaning personality eventually shines through; even just the repetition of being told to stop and think worms its way into your head.
The crux of the book, and the answer to the opening question, relies on Michelle's POP acronym. When facing hard decisions she recommends we...
Pause
Open up our options and play
Pick the Joy Choice
With the joy choice being the result of an internal negotiation with ourselves.
Is it that simple though? It is, but it's not easy. A lot of people think that there's some magic strategy or system to keep fit, but it mostly consists of making relatively boring, net healthy choices over a long period of time.
You may ask the friend that gets up at 5:30AM most weekday mornings (to hit the gym) how the heck they do it? They'll likely make a self-deprecating comment, "the kids are bouncing on my stomach at that time anyway so I may as well get up."
But, what they have really done (consciously or not) is make decisions in their head, repetitively, that have become automatic. There's probably a slight pause to observe their options and then a choice is made. The choice might be the snooze button on a particular morning but, over time, they have made a healthier decision.
And that's where the empathy of the book shines through. The above example, where you just go to the gym, is the perfect choice. But we are not all habit people and we have all had different, difficult life events that form how we make decisions. The book posits that in most cases, we should choose the perfect imperfect choice.
A perfect imperfect option, might be to hit snooze for a bit and then go out for a ravine hike with the kids later. It might mean negotiating with yourself to order a delicious Rudy burger but not adding fries to the order. You might even discover that today's choice is the just-f*cking-do-it day.
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. What The Joy Choice recommends is that maybe you want to pause and assess before striking back.
Have a great week!
Kevin & Victoria
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